Adventures in Ebay: The funniest listing I've ever seen.

The hard sell doesn't get any more in your face than this post here. I study copy writing and this stuff had me rolling in the aisles. The only thing it needs is flashing neon gifs and...

SUNDAY!
SUNDAY!
SUNDAAAAAAYYYY!

On offer here is a VERY rare LP (especially in this condition!!!!) by Karl Jenkins & The Soft Machine called "Rubber Riff" and is an ORIGINAL 1976 UK 1st Pressing on the 1st Press De Wolfe label!!!! THIS LP IS SERIOUSLY RARE AND VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND!!!! THIS IS ONE OF THE RAREST LPs ON THE DE WOLFE LABEL - AND VIRTUALLY NEVER TURNS UP FOR SALE!!!! JUST TRY AND FIND ANOTHER ONE!!!! BACK IN 1976 WHEN THIS LP WAS FIRST RELEASED - IT ONLY EVER SOLD IN ABSOLUTELY TINY AMOUNTS, AND WAS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY DELETED!!!! AS A RESULT IT IS SERIOUSLY RARE AND INCREDIBLY HARD TO LOCATE TODAY!!!! BUT WHAT MAKES THIS LP REALLY SPECIAL IS THAT IT IS IN ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT CONDITION!!!! AND THIS IS SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ON THIS LP!!!! THE RECORD HAS BARELY BEEN PLAYED AT ALL (ONLY ONCE OR TWICE AT THE VERY MOST!) AND IS IN BRILLIANT CONDITION, THE INNER SLEEVE IS SIMPLY SUPERB, AND THE COVER IS ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!!!! JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURES!!!! THIS IS THE ORIGINAL 1976 UK 1ST PRESSING ON THE 1ST PRESS DE WOLFE LABEL, 1ST PRESS INNER SLEEVE, AND 1ST PRESS 'GARROD & LOFTHOUSE' COVER!!!! THIS LP IS SERIOUSLY RARE AND VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND LIKE THIS - SO DONT MISS OUT ON THIS AMAZING OPPORTUNITY!!!! This is the ORIGINAL De Wolfe UK 1st Pressing from 1976 and is in BRILLIANT condition!!!! The record is pressed on THICK quality vinyl. The Cat. No is DWS/LP 3331 on the ORIGINAL 1st Press De Wolfe label (see picture) and is a UK Stereo 1st Pressing (there were NO Monos!)!!!!

The record labels are in AWESOME condition (see pictures) with NO wear, NO writing, and barely ANY spindle marks AT ALL!!!! IT IS VERY CLEAR THAT THIS RECORD HAS BARELY BEEN PLAYED AT ALL!!!! The vinyl is in absolutely BRILLIANT condition!!!! Most of these 60s/70s LPs had been to a lot of wild parties and are usually found totally worn out, and almost unplayable. This one is NOT and has NO scratches, only 2 or 3 MEGA light hairlines, NO scufflines, and only a VERY few of the lightest paper scuffs only visible under light!!!! ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT!!!! THE RECORD STILL RETAINS ITS ORIGINAL 'JUST PRESSED' LOOK AND SHINES LIKE NEW!!!! It is also great to find that the record plays as STUNNINGLY as the visual with NO pops, NO sticking, NO jumps, barely ANY crackle AT ALL, and only some VERY slight background sound on the run on grooves & gaps - NOT in the music AT ALL!!!! The sound quality is simply SUPERB with NO distortion and NO groovewear either!!!! The record must MEGA STRICTLY grade Very Good++++ if not better and is very VERY close to a grade above!!!! BRILLIANT RECORD!!!! Believe me this record is NOT overgraded in ANY way!!!! I use STRICT RC grading standards - it is not in my interest not to!!!! Brillant!!!! The record also comes in its ORIGINAL 1st Press inner sleeve which is in SUPERB condition!!!! The 1st Press 'Garrod & Lofthouse' Cover is in AWESOME condition!!!! It has NO edge wear, NO spinal wear, barely ANY corner wear AT ALL (NOT through the colour!), barely ANY creases AT ALL (cover is VERY flat looking indeed!), NO ringwear, NO rubbing, NO sticker tears, and NO writing!!!! The opening edge is beautifully straight with feathering!!!! Even the back of the cover is in AWESOME condition with NO grubbyness, NO yellowing, NO ringwear, NO rubbing, and NO writing!!!! The cover must grade Excellent++++ if not better!!!! AWESOME COVER!!!! THIS LP IS SERIOUSLY RARE AND VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND LIKE THIS - SO DONT MISS OUT ON THIS INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY!!!!

HAVE A LOOK AT MY PICTURES - I DO MY BEST TO SHOW THE RECORD FROM ALL ANGLES AND MAKE THE PICTURES AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE - THERE IS NOTHING TO HIDE!!!! It really is a GREAT looking LP and it is truly rare to find any copies of this MEGA RARE LP!!!! THIS WILL BE YOUR ONLY CHANCE TO BUY AN ORIGINAL 1976 UK 1ST PRESSING OF "RUBBER RIFF" BY KARL JENKINS & THE SOFT MACHINE, IN BRILLIANT CONDITION!!!! Dont forget to take a look at all my other items including many other TOP LPs and contact me with any queries you may have. P&P £3 in the UK, £4 Europe, £6 Rest Of The World (Postal discounts are available - see below for details). Paypal, Bank Transfers, Cheques, International Money Orders, and Postal Orders accepted. Thanks for looking! Cheers!!!!!

I suppose this is better than those other dealers that are like... "Hey I got a record, you wanna buy it or not?" Thing is about Rubber Riff is that there's always one on sale and someone uploaded it (somewhere)forever ago.